But let's not focus on all of mine. Right now, I want to talk about reality television.
I've been watching Bravo all night. I know, I'm so hip. Honestly, I wanted to watch Oprah. So badly. Why? Today was a big day for her shows history. A pregnant man??? BUT I promised a certain someone that I would wait and watch it with him. So here I am watching Jessie Spano host "Step It Up and Dance!", Bravo's latest reality experience for upper middle class white Americans between the ages of 25-39. Wooooo! (FYI, Elizabeth Berkley's face doesn't move much these days.) The best part of this episode of "Step It Up and Dance!" is the fact that they are dancing to the Spice Girls! Oh wait, no, I take that back. The best part of the episode took place in less than 60 seconds when the judges gave the following notes to certain dancers:
Judge: "Be very careful in your performances that even though you dance strongly you don't start dancing like a mean angry man, okay?"
If I had a nickel for every time someone said that to me...
Then seconds later a different judge said this to one of the male dancers:
Judge: "I need you to butch it up a little bit more. I need you to be very strong and masculine. I don't care if you like girls, boys, giraffes, or monkeys, I just need you to man up a little bit more and be a little bit stronger for me."
Dancer: "Did I look like a fag on stage?"
Judge: "A little bit."
Ouch.
Does that say something about gender roles in our society today? Someone should write a paper about it. 1, 2, 3, not it!
Wow, it's such a small trashy TV world. I just changed the channel to VH1 to watch "I Know My Kid's A Star" (because I'm trying to lose braincells) and the movie Showgirls just ended. Elizabeth Berkley is EVERYWHERE!
Anyway, I love television, I REALLY do. But sometimes I wonder...will the world ever run out of crazy people to star on all of these shallow reality shows? Then I forget about that thought and ask myself, will Kristi Lee Cook ever be kicked off of American Idol? Is there some way that I could vote against her? I'd like to be given the opportunity to take votes away from her without voting for anyone else. Now that's making a statement. American Idol should try it. Imagine this:
Ryan Seacrest: Tonight American Idol has set a new record. The person going home is the first contestant to actually lose votes. Kristi Lee Cook, you are leaving us tonight with -2 votes.
Simon: Oh Ryan, blah blah blah. She's forgettable, you're short, and I'm a genius. I'm such a genius, I can pull off man-boobs. I'm such a genius, I make you all look like cruise ship/amusement park/lounge geniuses. I'm such a genius, I dare ask, "Who is dressing you, Irish singer with scary tattoos?"
Then Simon looks directly into the camera.
Simon: Jenna Kim Jones, are you watching? Will you marry me?
A girl can dream, can't she?
In conclusion: reality television is so silly.
Big deal? Whatever. Sometimes I read...
(THE OFFICE, 30 ROCK, UGLY BETTY, MY BOYS, PLEASE, PLEASE COME BACK!)
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