Tolerance for those who are lactose-challenged..

Last year, my digestive system decided that it hates dairy products. My body rejected dairy. Which isn't a big deal because I've dealt with rejection on many occasions. You think I'm kidding when I say I'm an e-harmony reject? NO, no. There are NO matches out there for me. (I am not compatible with ANYONE on the internet. I will be alone and now, without dairy, forever.)

So when my body said no to dairy, my nights with Mint Chip were over. It was a sad day. (Especially when Mint Chip asked for all of his CD's back.)

Life without dairy isn't easy which is why I wish people were a little more sensitive about it.

I repeat, there is a real lack of compassion towards people like me. When I break the news to friends of mine, I usually get one of these three responses:

Scenario 1:

Friend: How about pizza?

Jenna: I don't eat pizza anymore. I can't eat dairy.

Friend: Ugh, I'd rather DIE than give up dairy.

Scenario 2:

Friend: How about pizza?

Jenna: I don't eat pizza anymore. I can't eat dairy.

Friend: Does it give you diarrhea? That is so gross.

Scenario 3:

Friend: How about pizza?

Jenna: I don't eat pizza anymore. I can't eat dairy.

Friend: So like no ice cream? No cheese? No milk? What about milk chocolate? Or chocolate milk?

Jenna: I hate you.

I'm here to write that there is more to life than dairy products. Like, for example, um, well...

(several hours later)

OK. I'm back. I was having a hard time coming up with anything earlier BUT I did a little thinking, watched a little TV and I'm ready to go.

Being Lactose Intolerant is better than:

1. Switching from a PC to a Mac and losing the ability to "right click"
2. Being an in-the-closet heterosexual stuck on one of Rosie O'Donnell's gay cruises
3. Wet jeans
4. The Today Show (ALL 4 HOURS OF IT)
5. Watching The Today Show in wet jeans on one of Rosie's cruises for the rest of your life.
6. Milk breath

So let's practice a little tolerance for people like me. I mean, I tolerate all kinds of things. The music of Nickelback, the smell of steamed broccoli, stupid people, gay men who love Beyonce. So please, give me a chance. I might not be able to eat pizza with you but I sure as heck will watch you eat pizza. And I won't even talk about the fact that if you eat too much of it, it might make you fat. NO, I won't say it.

Can't we all just be friends?