It's been a while. You missed the rumors. I know.
I'm getting old. How is it possible that I don't know who Justin Bieber is? Maybe you're saying to yourself, "Justin who?" Well apparently he's the newest hottest 15 year old pop singer; signed by Usher and breaking preteens' hearts everywhere. I was upset that I, the queen of pop music (a self imposed title - it's up for debate, I agree) don't know the singing sensation. I immediately youtubed his very popular single and realized I had actually heard this adorable song before. "One Time" is catchy and charming and up until I saw the music video, I was sure it was a Miley Cyrus original. Whoops. Sorry, Justin (and Miley).
Speaking of Miley, the true Disney Princess, recently cancelled her Twitter account. Courtney Love also cancelled her account because if Miley can quit tweeting, she can quit tweeting (and cocaine). According to Ms. Miley, twitter was a waste of time and though I agree, it also sounds to me like she's trying to go from girl....to....woman and shed anything that might make her appear too young. Uh oh, don't do it Miley. We don't need any Britney repeats. Heaven forbid you end of up stealing fur coats like Lohan. Miley might already be on a downard slope. She was seen eating at Outback and left...without leaving a tip. Maybe she had a bad waiter? Maybe her awesome blossom wasn't so awesome? Who knows...I'd suggest not eating at Outback, if you ask me.
In Lohan family news, Michael, the father of the red headed firecrackwhore (yowsers, that's a catty thing to say), has been hanging out with Jon Gosselin. Oh come on, Jon! You want people to be on your side? Believe your whole "Kate is abusive" line? Don't hang out with a notoriously bad father. The two of them have been sitting around exchanging stories of how misunderstood they are while they try on each other's Ed Hardy apparel.
Lastly, it turns out that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are related! Ben is Matt's father? Nope. Matt is Ben's half brother? Try again. Ben is Matt's grandma's sister's cousin's daughter's son? Close. Ok I'll tell you. They are tenth cousins one removed! Are people even related at that point? I'm probably their tenth cousin as well. The entire cast of The View are probably related to them as well. Barack Obama is probably related to them too. In fact, we're all probably related to Matt and Ben (though hopefully closer to Matt).
That's it for this week. Thanks for reading, you big nerds.
Love,
Jenna
Aaron Carter wishes he was Justin Bieber. Booyah.
