...full of special days. Did you know that April was so eventful? I didn't.
April 2nd: Hans Christian Andersen's Birthday... (My mom is probably the only person that would appreciate that day.)
April 3rd: Find a Rainbow Day. This day is especially easy for those who live in San Francisco or Chelsea in NYC.
April 5th: National Read a Road Map Day. Who invented this day? And why? And shouldn't it be abolished? GPS...hello???
April 8th: Ponce De Leon Discovered Florida Day. Had he actually discovered the fountain of youth, he'd be 548 years old and probably look something like Bruce Jenner.
April 14th: Iceberg ahead, yadayada, a big boat sinks a few hours later. Then a few years later, annoying teenage girls go and see the movie about that blasted boat and that fake romance and cry and cry and cry.
April 15th: Tax Day. BORING. First McDonald's opened in 1955. EXCITING! Then it turned our country into the McFatties we knew we could be.
April 16th: National Eggs Benedict Day. Yes, of course. We need a day to celebrate poached eggs. Yes. (In my mind, I'm saying this with the most pretentious voice I can think of. Imagine someone named Larry or Denton, who pretends to be from Europe but is actually from Detroit, enjoying a delicious plate of eggs benedict.)
April 19th: Humorous Day. On this day, everything is just humorous. Not funny enough for a laugh, not dumb enough for a chuckle, just humorous enough for you to politely smile and perhaps gently applaud.
April 24th: Pigs-in-a-blanket Day: To celebrate, not only should you eat hot dogs wrapped in pastry but you should also wrap yourself in a blanket and roll around the floor snorting. Would someone please do that, video tape it, post it on youtube and send me the link?
April 26th: Hug a Friend Day: Feel free to hug but please don't hug people who aren't your friends.
April 29th: Zipper Day. On Zipper Day, zippers are optional.
April 30th: National Honesty Day. My favorite day of the year. I don't have to control myself at all. If I don't tell the truth, it's like I'm breaking a law. It's like I'm being unpatriotic. And no, I'm a law abiding, America loving girl. I will tell the truth even if you can't handle it.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Power of Five...
...keeps love alive!
I want to see the Spice Girls on tour. Here is the intro to their 2008 tour. It's SO POP! Do you know how hard it is to lip sync, dance in high heels, and keep love alive for two hours every night? That kind of sounds like a slogan/mission statement for some kind of escort service. Ewww...
Oh well, I still want to see the Spice Girls on tour.
I want to see the Spice Girls on tour. Here is the intro to their 2008 tour. It's SO POP! Do you know how hard it is to lip sync, dance in high heels, and keep love alive for two hours every night? That kind of sounds like a slogan/mission statement for some kind of escort service. Ewww...
Oh well, I still want to see the Spice Girls on tour.
Sometimes I get depressed because...
...I've never done the impossible. You know, like, I never donated my feet to footless children in Malaysia and then run a marathon in record time for colon cancer survivors (without my feet, of course). If I did, I'd have a book deal AND Oprah and I would be better friends than we are right now. No, I haven't done anything that spectacular.
That's really not a good reason for depression. If I were actually depressed about my lack of Olympic Gold Medals or Nobel Peace Prizes, the fact that I am laying on my couch right now eating Lucky Charms straight from the bag, typing this poorly written blog post would probably send me running off the top of the Tisch Building at NYU.
January, February, and March are the most depressing months of the year. But guess what? It's April now and I'm starting to leave the winter blues behind. I've decided to put away my winter coats even though it's still semi-freezing in NYC. I want you to leave your winter blues at home, locked away with winter coats too SO I've come up with a few reasons why you shouldn't feel so down:
1. Oprah has gained weight lately. She is rich, powerful, and rich. If she can't be thin, don't worry about the few extra pounds you packed on underneath the sweaters you wore all winter.
2. At least you aren't one of the 401 polygamist children from the Yearning for Zion Ranch/Prison in Texas. They don't even know what youtube is!
3. At least you aren't the baby inside that pregnant she-man from Oregon.
4. At least you're not Danny Bonaduce.
5. At least you aren't me, sitting on a couch, eating Lucky Charms.
6. Shai LaBeouf is starring in the next Indiana Jones movie which comes out May 22, 2008. That's less than two months!
7. The Spice Girls are going on tour this year. Seriously. They are.
8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
See, life is good! Enjoy it!
Love,
Jenna
* On a personal note, I found out today that I am graduating from NYU on May 14th as an University Honors Scholar. With honors, baby!
** The two month countdown to my birthday starts today. Get excited! It's going to be a birthday extravaganza. You know why? Because all 22nd birthday's should be extravagant. 21 was cool and all but 22? Now that's where it's at.
That's really not a good reason for depression. If I were actually depressed about my lack of Olympic Gold Medals or Nobel Peace Prizes, the fact that I am laying on my couch right now eating Lucky Charms straight from the bag, typing this poorly written blog post would probably send me running off the top of the Tisch Building at NYU.
January, February, and March are the most depressing months of the year. But guess what? It's April now and I'm starting to leave the winter blues behind. I've decided to put away my winter coats even though it's still semi-freezing in NYC. I want you to leave your winter blues at home, locked away with winter coats too SO I've come up with a few reasons why you shouldn't feel so down:
1. Oprah has gained weight lately. She is rich, powerful, and rich. If she can't be thin, don't worry about the few extra pounds you packed on underneath the sweaters you wore all winter.
2. At least you aren't one of the 401 polygamist children from the Yearning for Zion Ranch/Prison in Texas. They don't even know what youtube is!
3. At least you aren't the baby inside that pregnant she-man from Oregon.
4. At least you're not Danny Bonaduce.
5. At least you aren't me, sitting on a couch, eating Lucky Charms.
6. Shai LaBeouf is starring in the next Indiana Jones movie which comes out May 22, 2008. That's less than two months!
7. The Spice Girls are going on tour this year. Seriously. They are.
8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
See, life is good! Enjoy it!
Love,
Jenna
* On a personal note, I found out today that I am graduating from NYU on May 14th as an University Honors Scholar. With honors, baby!
** The two month countdown to my birthday starts today. Get excited! It's going to be a birthday extravaganza. You know why? Because all 22nd birthday's should be extravagant. 21 was cool and all but 22? Now that's where it's at.
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