Sometimes you just have to ask...

...when you want something. Thanks for following my blog!

Today I completed my first official Xerox Machine Tutorial. Copy machines can do more than you think. Also, the green light, and I just learned this, actually doesn't make your eyes bleed if you look into it. So I photo copied my face for everyone in the office. Then I inverted the copy. Then I made that copy appear on the page 36 times. Then I made it into a flip book. Like I said, copy machines can do more than you think.

It's Friday and most of you are getting ready to leave the office for the weekend. Unless you're unemployed. (Trying to hurry and change the subject, uh, uh....) So! Big gulps, huh?

Anyway, I won't keep you from your weekend any longer. If you find any extra money lying around, send it to me OR Washington DC. If you see Beyonce, tell her to be careful or she might die from taking-herself-too-seriously-itis. And if you reach out and touch a Jonas Brother in their new 3D movie coming out in theaters today, you are a total perv.

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes five isn't...

...enough. In fact, it's quite pathetic. I only have five followers which means I need you to...

...FOLLOW MY BLOG! You can do so by clicking the "Follow" button on the right hand side of the page. Come on, guys.

Please?

Love,
Jenna

P.S. Tessa Witt is my homegirl! Thanks for following!

Sometimes facebook thinks...

...he's so original. Well guess what, facebook? You so aren't! Yeah! So there! (I just decided facebook was male. I don't know how I feel about that.)

Facebookers are going crazy over "notes" these days. I've mentioned them before in my "25 things about me if I were Michael Phelps" post but since then, it's only grown more and more out of control. Don't people realize, these so called "notes" are just irritating chain mail or forwarded e-mails from the late 90's and early 00's? We've heard all of these stupid ideas and answers before! But instead of e-mailing them to each other, we post these messages on our facebook profiles for everyone to see and waste their time reading. So here I am wasting your time further by doing a little note of my own (Yep, I'm a sellout...sort of...keep reading) based on something I saw on facebook this morning but instead of using my facebook friends, I'm going to use 10 of the people I mentioned in my previous post. The questions on this blog came straight from facebook. Oh yeah...

1. Chris Brown
2. Michael Phelps
3. Chris Matthews
4. Rick Sanchez
5. Hugh Jackman
6. Beyonce
7. Tyler Perry
8. Jessica Simpson
9. Simon Cowell
10. Paula Abdul

Have you ever kissed #7?
Has any female ever kissed Tyler Perry?

What is the best memory you have of #9?

When is the next time you're going to see #4?
3 PM on CNN. He follows me on Twitter. He makes me sick.

Is #8 pretty?
She would be if she wasn't so fat.

What was your first impression of #10?
She may seem really nice on Idol...

...but she will cut you. (Would someone please let her go to the bathroom?)

How did you meet #3?
Well he won't remember me but it went something like this:

Jenna: Hi Chris Matthews, meet my fist.
(Jenna punches Chris Matthews)

*I don't "hate" Chris Matthews but the sound of his voice makes me very tense.
Why must he yell ALL THE TIME?

Have you ever been inside #1's house?
Yes but I made sure I wore a helmet.

Have you ever been in trouble with #2?
Who do you think took this picture?

Did you ever accidentally physically hurt #5?
Well we were in a kick line once and things got a little crazy. He was sure he could kick higher and faster but he had no idea who he was up against. I'm sure you can imagine what happened next...

Have you ever danced with #6?
I have not. But you know how I feel about her dancing. There is no way, I could keep with up with her frantic nature. She'd hip check me off stage. Oh and I'd want to wear pants which would never fly with Ms. Sasha Fierce.

Well that was fun. Happy that I wasted your time, nerds? Good. Happy to help.

Love,
Jenna

P.S. I apologize for the excessive pictures of shirtless men. Two is too many, you're right.

Sometimes Mardi Gras...

...is just too fat. Mardi Gras is terrible. Everything I see and hear about fat Tuesday makes me cringe. For example, six people were shot in yesterday's Mardi Gras celebration in New Orleans. Well, technically seven but the 20 months old was only grazed by a bullet so it doesn't actually count. Everything about the last two sentences: terrible. And I'm sure that Girls Gone Wild crew captured ample amounts of drunk college girl footage for their next season of filth. Girls Gone Wild: terrible.

Anyway, that's not the point. Mardi Gras is the day before Lent.

People keep asking me what I'm giving up for Lent. Since I'm not Catholic, I'm not obligated to give up something for the next 40 days but that got me thinking. What would I give up for 40 days or even 40 weeks, months, years, dare I say, forever? I mean, if I had to. Which I don't. Although it's not a bad idea. I do have a few suggestions for other people...

1. Chris Brown: Hitting (Obviously...)
2. Michael Phelps: Pot
3. Reality Television: Bret Michaels (America has enough STD's and although it seems (and actually is) impossible, I think Rock of Love viewers are immediately infected with at least one.)
4. Chris Matthews: Shouting (He's going to explode one of these days.)
5. Rick Sanchez: Twitter
6. Hugh Jackman: Hosting award shows
7. Baconnaise: Bacon or Mayonnaise (One of you has to go.)
8. McDonald's: The McRib
9. Beyonce: Leotards (I've had enough! Dance wearing pants! Dance wearing pants or don't dance at all!)
10. Tyler Perry: Female fat suits
11. Jessica Simpson: Poptarts
12. Simon Cowell: Paula Abdul
13. Geese: Playing chicken with airplanes

The world's not perfect, folks. But wouldn't it be nice if we could all give up something to improve ourselves? I've been saying "folks" a lot lately. It needs to stop. That's what I'll give up. Goodbye, folks! Hello, nerds. Is that better, nerds? Get used to hearing it, nerds. (Alright, fine. Other things I should give up: WebMD, SunChips, Diet Coke and heroin, I mean, being a heroine. I just can't save everyone.)

Love,
Jenna

P.S. I'm not a drug addict. It just hit me that heroin and heroine were pronounced the same and are only separated in spelling by one measly "e." Sometimes I'm dumb. I know, stop. You're a nerd! But seriously...kind of interesting. I got it! I'm a heroine addict. You know, addicted to being a heroine. Ha! Ok, I'm finished. Let's pretend I never typed this.)

Sometimes I'm a bad...

...blogger. But I've had a cold and my cable was out (never fear...it was fixed this morning by the best cable woman ever. Girls rule!). Yes, a cold and lack of cable makes it very hard for me to blog. I'm only human.

Anyway, I'm back in business. So maybe I'll write about the Oscars, maybe I'll write about killer monkeys and sofa dwelling boa constrictors or maybe I'll write about our awesome economy! Who knows! Well, I know but uh...

It's a new freaking day, folks.

Love,
Jenna