Sometimes I think that people...

...might start exploding because their vices, their problems, their weaknesses, their inability to make good decisions, their lack of brain, could make them more combustable. (That isn't a word but you totally know what I'm talking about, right?) For example: the more diet coke I drink, the more combustable I become.

"Last week, a 22 year old female spontaneously combusted on 52nd St. The Lucky Burger employee that handed her her final diet coke, suffered severe burns but is in intensive care and although very slowly, is expected to recover as good as new, except for the face deformity. She was found in a puddle of Diet Coke and it appeared she was calcium deficient from years of soda addiction."

"Last night, during the one and only Vice Presidential Debate, Presidential candidate, Senator John McCain literally blew up when running mate Sarah Palin was eaten alive by Senator Joe Biden. The remaining pieces of Palin were recently seen in another interview with Katie Couric where the one and a half women hugged it out. McCain and Palin have since jumped ahead 10 points in the latest Myspace poll because, according to many voters, "Biden was just too mean to Sarah. She did just fine for a Governor from Alaska and he should pick on someone his own size and gender."

Think about it. It could happen. Ok fine, it really couldn't happen.

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes it's so awesome...

...living in a country that is so awesome.

We had the great depression, now we're entering the greatest depression. We have the fattest people, the most au-rtistic kids, role models in rehab, reality TV, corn dogs, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Palin, Sarah Plain and Tall, corn dogs, etc...

What else do we need?

I know that I said this place is awesome but...

Forget the bailout, this is what I really need:

1. The ability to change my facebook status by wiggling my nose.

2. Predictive text that is never wrong.

3. More films starring talking Chihuahua's living in 90210.

Really, Beverly Hills Chihuahua? Really?

What is wrong with people?

So many things, actually. (I've got issues too, don't worry.)

You know what I really need right now?

A big fat Diet Coke, on the rocks.

Love,
Jenna