Sometimes it's Easter...

Sometimes it’s Easter…

...and New York City runs out of Cadbury Mini Eggs. I looked everywhere and they were nowhere to be found. Had I known there would be a run on mini eggs, I would have stalked up earlier but I figured I'd be able to buy them at any time. Naive, I know. Good thing Easter is an annual holiday. Phew! Is there a place where I can buy Cadbury Mini Eggs year round? Heaven? Sweden? I wonder what Cadbury Eggs would taste like fried. And wrapped in a donut, dipped in bacon grease, fried again and served with a side of buttermilk syrup. Actually, I think I saw Paula Deen do that just the other day in her Easter special. Mmm...

Besides going to church, watching an illegally burned copy of an ABC Family movie from 2003 on DVD (Thank you Alisa and the guy in London who copied it and ABC Family for making "This Time Around"), calling the NYFD to come find the smell of gas in my apartment (My gas stove top burner pilot light was out resulting in a slow, insignificant leak. My bad! How was I supposed to know they'd bring two trucks and six firefighters?), talking on the phone with a variety of lovelies, watching bits and pieces of two very disturbing TLC health specials ("The Woman with Giant Legs", followed by "The Girl Who Never Grew"), and giving my little brother a giant foam sword in his E. Basket so we could fence safely in our tiny apartment, it was a pretty typical Easter Sunday. I'm ready for sleep.

Hooray for Easter! I hope you all had a chance to think about the reason you actually celebrate the Holiday and I hope the reason deals with something more than the awesome selection of candy and bunnies. I get the candy but what is up with the Easter Bunny?

Love,

Jenna

P.S. Remember the candy, "Circus Peanuts?" If you'll refer to a post from last July, you'll see my attempt at eating 10 Circus Peanuts in two minutes to earn money for The Ninja Fund. I recently saw Circus Peanuts, obviously trying to disguise themselves at delicious Easter Candy, shaped like chicks and bunnies. As if! Circus Peanuts, I would argue, are the most horrifying candies in existence but hey, I wouldn't mind making a little cash so... Just putting it out here. Sometimes I miss the Ninja Fund. Should I bring it back? To learn more about the origins of The Ninja Fund read this. Keep in mind, thanks to a good friend, I made it to Ninja last December. It was a night to remember. So that means, if I decide to bring the fund back, I'm keeping the name but choosing a new restaurant. Any suggestions?

Sometimes the twits....

...come up with like way awesome ideas because like I don't have time to like celebrate Easter so like, if I could just read the whole story thing like 140 characters at a time on twitter, that would be so totes great. LOL!

That's right peeps, The Wall Street Trinity Church began tweeting the Passion of Christ on Twitter this afternoon.

"The main characters will tweet the Passion play for three hours beginning at noon on Good Friday."

Don't worry, "the feed also can be delivered to mobile devices or e-mail addresses." Phew!!!

Just thought you'd like to know. Now go microwave some peeps.

More posting to come...later...

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes I think diets are terrible...

...but I may have found THE ONE that will put Jenny Craig to shame. Move over, Marie Osmond. You won't be the only skinny Mormon in town anymore!

Researchers discovered a type of fat, stored in most bodies, that is actually a calorie burning fat. Brown fat "is a tissue whose sole physiological purpose is to expend energy." Now, you may not know this but I have a little extra fat (I dabble in eating) hanging around my...ankles? Yeah, that's where it is. Anyway the point is, I might have a little brown fat in me (which might also explain my love for Ginuwine).

Unfortunately, there is ONE problem with brown fat. In order for it to activate in your body, you have to to be cold. And I'm not talking about Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada chilly, I literally mean, COLD. Turn up your air conditioners, open your freezer doors, and shiver until your teeth hurt. Freeze for a prolonged period of time and you'll be burning more calories than Seth Rogan on crack (Have you seen him lately? He claims he's lost weight through exercise and a healthy diet. As if ANYONE has EVER lost weight that way. He MUST be a total crackhead because that is the ONLY way people lose weight in Hollywood. Maybe if I took crack, his movies would be funnier? Does one "take" crack? Is crack like an aspirin?)

I think the discovery of brown fat came at just the right time. The economy stinks and oddly enough, it's still snowing in half the country even though it's April. (It snowed here in NYC for about a half an hour yesterday.)

Turn off your heat, save money AND burn calories. And if you can't turn off your heat, just go to "Frozen-Yoga." It's yoga, in a giant freezer. Sounds awesome.

Love,
Jenna

P.S. Let us never speak of my fat again.

Sometimes the blog...

...has a bit of a slow week.  Sorry.  It's been a busy week and when that happens my poor blog suffers.  

What has the world been up to the last few days?  Well, Kim Jong Il cried. (What a baby!) Lohan got dumped.  (What a loser!) And the Queen of England has been rockin' out to Jay-Z on the sweet new ipod Barack gave her. (What a Diva!)  Also, Robin Thicke, R&B singer extraordinaire (Oprah loves his sweet, sweet falsetto), the whitest man to ever sing like a sexy black man since Rick Astley, and son of Growing Pain's Alan Thicke, kissed me on the cheek this afternoon.  True stories.  All of them.  They are totally NOT fake rumors...or are they?

I've promised myself and now I've promised you, dear blogtards, that I will post something "delicious" tomorrow.  (I feel like punching myself in the face for typing that.)  

Love,

Jenna

P.S.  Friends, we're exactly two months away from my birthday.  On that day, two months from now, I expect birthday wishes.  And maybe some Sunchips?  Also, fame and fortune.  And a date with Shia LaBeouf.  Whatev, I'm easy to please.  

Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 4/6/09

Beauty Report: According to Newsweek, women spend over $450,000 on their appearance over a lifetime. That's it?

Beauty Report 2: Doctors, like a whole bunch of doctors, saved a crocodiles face a few weeks ago. No, I'm not talking about Joan Rivers. I'm talking about Melissa Rivers. Ha. Ok fine, doctors actually rebuilt a crocodiles face after it was smashed in because crocodiles have feelings too. Do you know how hard it would be to attack people with a broken face? Think of what the other crocs would say, how he'd be teased. Puh-lease.

Come Again?: Lohan broke up with her man, I mean, Samantha her boyfriend, I mean her girlfriend,(I am so confused!) again but this time they broke up for realz, maybe. Samantha had the locks changed on the home they share in LA. This was to be their first Passover together. Sigh... Maybe Lindsey found out that Samantha, even though it is hard to believe, is actually a girl and Lohan is actually not a lesbian. Or maybe she is. Life is so fickle!

Tween Time: Miley Cyrus and a whole slew of tween-heartthrobs showed up at the premiere for the Hannah Montana movie. If eye daggers were actually daggers, Taylor Swift so would have been cut.

Young Felony Love: When 15 year old Miley was asked if she was in love with her 20 year old boyfriend she said, "Yeah and you know, it's cool." Wow, I always forget how smart she is.

Daddy's Girl: Mr. Miley Cyrus's Dad was quoted saying, "She is just so undeniably 100 percent Miley all the time. She is Miley wherever she goes, even if we're at the house, she's still Miley." Strange you should say that, Billy R., because the whole night at her movie premiere, Miley only responded to the name Hannah.

Just In Case You Didn't Know: Guys, just in case you didn't know, girls love it when you bite your lower lip while dancing. Don't forget to stare.

Cut Loose: Zac Efron is too cool to star in Footloose. The dork decided not to take the role because he's looking to be a more serious actor. Um, right. Wait, what movie do you have coming out next week? 17 Again? Really? Really, Efron? I want you to think about what you've done and how you've let me and the rest of the world down. Kevin Bacon would be nothing without Footloose! You could be the next generation's Six Degrees of Zac Efron!

I'm JK and I'm an NCAA bracket champion! Suck on that, boyz.

Love,

Jenna