I learn about my body sometimes...

...but only when I'm listening to pop music.

If you listen to Hot 97 or Hitz 100 or whatever the popular radio station is called wherever you live, you may have realized how informative pop music has become. I am learning about all kinds of medical things.

1. In Leona Lewis' new song "Bleeding Love," listeners learn about the sometimes devastating effects of hemophilia, a rare inherited disorder where blood doesn't clot normally so the person continues to bleed. I mean, you already knew that though, right? She won't shut up, I mean, stop singing about it..."Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding. I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding..."

2. Janet Jackson is back on the scene and looking better than ever. She's not fat anymore! (Honestly, I think I put that more delicately than The Insider ever could.) The first time I heard her new song "Feedback" I thought I heard this, "cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period." Then Chuck, my little brother, the king of song lyrics, convinced me that she said, "cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first DATE period." Well, I WAS convinced until I listened to the song this morning during my wake up dance routine. So I googled it and let the internet be the judge. According to metrolyrics.com she sings, "cause my swag is serious, something heavy like a first day period." Yeah, she does. Thanks for that lovely simile Janet Jackson's writers. I don't even know what swag means in this context but I'm totally grossed out by it. I listened to the rest of her new album and it turns out she also compares childbirth, hysterectomies, and getting a colonoscopy every 5 years after the age of 50, to a night out in the club. Those are some incredible writers. I've heard rumors that her next album will be dedicated to menopause. That's just what I've heard.

3. Mariah Carey's new song "Touch My Body" reminds women to examine themselves regularly between mammograms. (I'm terrified as to what kind of "google ads" are going to appear now that I've posted that.) It's good to see Mariah involved in such a good cause.

4. Jordin Sparks asks, in my opinion, an obvious, BUT nonetheless crucial question in her newest song, "No Air." She sings, "How am I supposed to breathe with no air?" Duh, Jordin, you can't! Stop polluting the airways with such nonsense. Oh wait, stop polluting? I get it!!!

5. I love Lil Mama. She is SO much smarter than anyone gives her credit for. In her last song, she delighted us with the importance of personal grooming. Girls should care about their looks. My lip gloss has been poppin' ever since. Anyway, in her newest song, "Shawty Get Loose," listeners are reminded to stretch out regularly. If you "get loose" your body and mind will be in harmony with each other. I'm sure she says that somewhere in that song. I'm sure.

Thank you pop music writers and artists. I appreciate what you are doing for society. I look forward to hearing your songs on Grey’s Anatomy when it finally returns.

In the meantime, I hope that Ashlee Simpson comes out with a song that discusses the importance of getting a good nose job.