I am pseudo...

Last night I went to a pseudo apartment that smelled surprisingly better than I had previously imagined it might. But that's not the point of this story. As some of you readers might know, I enjoy learning new things that might help me in this world and last night I learned something that I am going to share with you for a small fee.

If you want to sound hip/cool/like you know what you are talking about, just throw the word "PSEUDO" in front of your favorite activities, food habits, hobbies, etc.

Now I'm new at this but I am going to try and give you some examples so you know what I'm talking about.

Jenna: I'm a pseudo-swimmer.

Friend: What does that mean?

Jenna: I think swimming is wrong.

Friend: But you went swimming last week.

Jenna: Well you know, sometimes swimming is unavoidable. That doesn't mean I agree with it.

Friend: Oh right, I get it. I'm a pseudo-drug dealer. I might deal drugs to make money but I know it's wrong and I don't do drugs.


Ok so I'm still getting used to the word. But here are some pseudo phrases that will definitely work in your favor.

Pseudo-Vegetarian - Sometimes you eat chicken but only when people force you too otherwise, you don't condone cruelty towards chickens. Instead you'd rather eat lettucy things like cabbage, for example.

Pseudo-Mormon - Be Mormon without actually BEING Mormon. They're so hip right now. Mormons are the new pink. Thanks Mitt!

Pseudo-TV watcher - This is for people who say, "I don't really like/watch TV but sometimes I watch The Hills and I Love New York but honestly, I totally HATE TV."

With the word pseudo, you'll fit in everywhere you go!

For more pseudo phrases and other tips on how to fit in (like how to metaphorically tame raging beastly lions), please e-mail your full name, credit card number, Social Security number, your address (not someone elses), cell phone number, AIM screenname, pant size, favorite food item at Taco Bell, your crush as well as his/her e-mail address, and a check for $39.99 plus 8.625% sales tax to Jenna Jones ASAP!