I'm back.
I had a great Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year.
I was named the Jones Family Christmas Cheese 2007.
In other news, it's a New Year. Here's what's going to happen in 2008:
1. New President = New Dude for me to blame all of the world's problems on. (What if Hillary wins? Statement remains the same.)
2. There are going to be a lot of new babies this year. Britney will manage to have another one, maybe two along with her little sister. Britney's new babies will replace the two who were taken away from her. Teenage pregnancy will become the new rage leaving High School Musical no choice but to "scank it up."*****
3. Miley Cyrus a.k.a. Hannah Montana might abuse some kind of substance.
4. Al Gore will end the WGA strike. If he can save the world, why can't he save TV???
5. I will get a legit boyfriend. I have no idea what that means. As opposed to all of my illegitimate boyfriends???
6. Tom Cruise will realize he's gay, leave Katie Holmes, date Carrot Top (Who will also realize he's gay) and then host a talk show with Rosie O'Donnell.
7. I will stop teenagers from using "half-words" such as "presh" or "fab" or "sched" with my giant taser.
8. Katie Couric will go back to the today show, please! Meredith will continue hosting Millionaire. Yes, that show is still on TV.
9. California could potentially fall into the ocean. If it doesn't, I am praying that the characters from The Hills on MTV will.
10. The movie "The Hills Are Blind" will come out. It will send me into therapy just like The Hills Have Eyes 1 & 2 did for the past two years.
11. Facebook will come to life and eat our brains. We will forever be controlled by our profile mini-feed.
12. Taco Bell will bring back Nacho Dog!
13. Didn't you hear? The McRib is BACK!
14. Bajio will move to NYC. If you don't know what Bajio is, I weep for you.
15. I will lose 10 pounds. So will Al Gore? I'm just saying it couldn't hurt, could it? (I probably won't lose 10 pounds.)
16. I will find Stephen Segal along with one of his DVD's at the $5 bin at Wal-Mart, make him sign the DVD, give it to my Dad for Father's Day and finally be my dad's fourth favorite child!
17. I will attempt to graduate from college in May. If it doesn't work out, there's always marriage or McDonalds! (Employee discount = reduced price McRib = happy happy Jenna and Clay!!!)
The End.
P.S. I don't eat McRibs. Let me make myself clear again: I've never eaten a McRib. I don't think a McRib is actually made of ribs. How can the McRib sandwich look like ribs but have no bones? Hmmm?????
*****I in no way support "scanking" anything "up" but since this is a prediction of the year to come, I am forced to face reality. What is the world coming to?
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2 comments:
Jenna,
I have, for the record, only eaten one McRib in my life. And that was only to satisfy your same question: How can it be a rib with no bones? I have no plans on eating them at any point in the future.
Steven Seagal is awesome. He was in a movie called "Fire Down Below." Any man than can headline a film whose name is a euphemism for venereal disease deserves our respect and admiration.
In light of the double meaning of "Fire Down Below," let's examine a few more of his films' titles:
"Under Siege"
"Under Siege 2: Dark Territory" (dark territory?)
"On Deadly Ground"
"Hard to Kill"
All are suspect.
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