So sometimes I dont recognize people from high school. That guy in the Disneyland proposal went to my high school. THE WHOLE THING WAS A SETUP. He was acting.

Sometimes...wow...

...that's all I can say. Click on the link to watch a video that is either really lame or really cool. It really just depends on you. In my opinion, it's really fake.

Doesn't This Only Happen In Movies?

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Kevin Jonas, the oldest of Disney's very own Jonas Brothers recently got engaged. I showed this clip to my coworker and her first reaction was, "Wow, he's really outshining Kevin Jonas." So true, Kevin. You got served.

Love,
Jenna

Mid Week Pop Music Pick Me Up 7/1/09

It's shocking that a boy band this good wasn't organized by Simon Cowell. When I was 13, these four British beaus serenaded me through a long awkward summer. Not only were the boys of BBMak my summer loves but when they made an appearance on, what I still consider to be the greatest Disney television show ever, Even Stevens, I fell in love. I downplayed my feelings for these lovely men of Liverpool because I worried that if I fanned these love flames, those feelings could exceed those of my beloved Backstreet Boys.

Until now, I never questioned their band name (though I just realized how feminine the name actually sounds. Keep in mind, they're European.) There are three members of BBMak: Mark Barry, Christian Burns and Stephen McNally. Get it?

Most of BBMak's songs sound exactly the same but their good looks make up for the lacking melodies. Yes, they are hot. Not only do they sound the same, they all kind of look the same too. But again like I said, they are very attractive so when you watch their music videos, you never have the "Joey" moment. You know, the few times in an NSYNC video where they give Joey camera time. Ew. With BBMak, it's all cute all the time. Did I mention they're adorable? Because they are. Seriously, BBMak withstood the test of time. No overalls, no hoop earrings, no long hair or braided hair, no baggy clothing. These guys were ahead of their time.

Enjoy their song, "Back Here"



Love,
Jenna

Sometimes I take a trip...

...to Utah to

1. celebrate America
2. see my family
3. perform stand up comedy at Wise Guys Comedy Club

Seriously, Utah, I'm on my way. And while I'm visiting, Wise Guys Comedy Club has been so kind as to let me perform July 10th and 11th at their Trolley Square location in Salt Lake City. More details to come but until then, you'd better mark your calendars because you now have hilarious plans with me.

Love,
Jenna

Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 6/29/09

Let's Review - What a week! So many different kinds of people died. A super hot model/actress, a noseless king, a legendary voice and that guy who shouted at me when I was half asleep in front of the television. And of course, Jeff Goldblum. Yikes. What's going on?

I Can't Hear You - Do as I'm doing and ignore the fact that another plane crashed in the Ocean last night. I'm flying this weekend. Thankfully over no oceans. I really don't want want to crash, it's so cliche these days. And can you imagine crashing in Oklahoma? Gross.

Life's a B.... - Madoff is in prison for 150 years or 21 dogs years. Time sounds better in dog years. Not that I feel bad for him. The real victim here is his wife who now because of her husband's wrong doings has to sell her $50,000 fur. I'm not sure how she'll be able to forgive him. You can find the fur on e-bay. The current bid is $4.50.

Dude, Really? - Simon Cowell wants up to $144 million a year to judge American Idol contestants. So do I but it ain't never gonna happen. Come on Simon, really? That seems a little excessive. What are you going to do with all that money? Unless you need the money to create Spice Girls the Next Generation, Five II and get a little surgery to fix the man boobs, I think you can afford to take a hit in your salary. Actually, Simon recently said that he would negotiate for about $75 million a year as long as he recieved a lifetime supply of Hanes deep v-neck t-shirts size tight.

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes a legend dies...

...goodbye Jeff Goldblum. We'll miss you.

Ok, ok, Jeff Goldblum is still alive BUT that was, what I thought, an hilarious Twitter rumor started yesterday after MJ passed.

Just in case you missed it...

MICHAEL JACKSON is DEAD.

Mark Sanford is lucky because no one cares about him anymore. And poor Farrah Fawcett has been upstaged by Jacko. You think he could have waited and died a few days later. RUDE.

Do you think Michael will come back to life in time for his concerts in London? I sure hope so.

Anyway, I ran out of time to write today and I am about to leave work and I really just want to go home and watch a movie because the weather is a total beeeeeyotch.

I love you guys. Really. I do. Stay you.

Love,
Jenna

Mid Week Pop Music Pick Me Up 6/24/09

Somethings tells me this group is from Sweden.

Why? Sweden loves Abba and this pop group loves singing Abba songs. "A"*Teens...Abba Teens...get it? Their first album was dedicated to Abba remakes. Though the only scene when you might listen to their version of "Mama Mia" would involve DDR or an old Now That's What I Call Music CD at a sleepover when you were 12. Or maybe that's just me.

Eventually the group branched out and sang a few of their own songs as well which is actually when those of us who watched Disney Channel growing up were introduced to their song, "Upside Down." It's my personal favorite. Any song that references dancing on the ceiling (thanks Lionel) is a personal favorite.

Oh Sweden and your glorious pop. Abba, A*Teens, Ace of Base. They're obsessed with the two boy, two girl combination. To each Country his own. Americans love a pop group that consists of five boys or five girls. Mess with that winning format and you will never reach the top of the pop group list. Why do you think 98 Degrees failed to keep up with NSYNC or Backstreet Boys? They needed that extra member to complete the perfect five part harmony and the classic "'V" dance formation. Duh.

Enjoy A*Teens. They broke up years ago so their few songs are all we have left.

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes only YOU...

...can make comedy happen. That's right folks, I need your help again. I have a show on July 16th and once again, if you don't come, I don't get any stage time.

So e-mail me at jenna@jennakimjones.com to let me know that you are coming to my show. The last time I performed at this club, it was packed and people were turned away so please make your reservations ASAP and remember to arrive early or you won't get in! The details are below!

Super Ego Comedy Showcase!
New York Comedy Club (241 East 24th b/t 2nd and 3rd)
Thursday July 16 9:00 PM
$10 cover ($8 w/ Student ID) + 2 drink minimum
Please e-mail me for a reservation ASAP (jenna@jennakimjones.com)

I know it's on a Thursday but don't be lame...it's the summer...you can handle starting your weekend a little early. It will be fun. Super fun.

Love,
Jenna

Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 6/22/09

BABY GOT BACK: The more bounce in your booty, the more jiggle in your wiggle, the more junk in your trunk: THE LONGER YOU LIVE and you're probably one of those rap guy's girlfriend. According to a study done up in "Canada" (keep reading...you'll like Canada after this) carrying a few extra pounds around i.e. being a little "chubby" adds years to your life. If you love life, which you obviously do if you are already chubby, then stay chubby and you might get to enjoy it a little longer with your best friend cheesecake and his much different and equally delicious cousin cheese fries. No wonder skinny people are so miserable. They have no fatty food friends. After reading this study, Hollywood Celebrities are going on strike until they are allowed to eat again which seems weird to me because I'm pretty sure once you reach FAME, you're going to live forever.

NOW HIRING CELIBACY: Get paid to NOT have sex without becoming a Nun! In Greensboro, North Carolina, teenage girls are being paid to NOT get pregnant. Seriously. Every day you don't get pregnant, you get $1.00. Good for you! You didn't have sex and get pregnant! The money goes into an interest-bearing college fund that the winners collect if they don't have a baby when they graduate from high school. However, if you and whoever can't keep your clothes on you get pregnant, not only will your hard earned money be divided evenly among the other ladies but you will also be silently judged. If you drop out of high school completely, you actually have to pay $1.00 for every day you missed because you were with child. How 'bout them apples? If you are interested in earning $1.00 a day and you live in North Carolina and would like more information click here.

When you become a politician and you sneak away on a cruise with your girlfriend, don't come back. We're over it.

Love,
Jenna

Sometimes I wonder if my dentist...

...thinks before he speaks.

My dentist in Utah still thinks I'm 14 which is fine, whatever. He's as weird as you'd expect any dentist to be. Perhaps some of you or your parents are dentists. That's great but I never met a dentist who isn't a little bizarro. I think it's all vacation time they get. Dentists are just too relaxed.

Well I thought my old dentist was a goof until I met Dr. Whateveryournameis (I really can't remember his name because even when I was staring at his name tag, I wasn't sure how to even begin to pronounce it) this morning at 8 AM. Because it was my first visit, my dentist wanted to perform my teeth cleaning personally so he could "get to know my mouth." Is that harassment? I can't decide but I'm leaning towards yes. He looked in my mouth, poked at my teeth and gums and then started to feel up my jaw. He was rubbing both sides of my face when he asked, "Have you always had such a strong jaw and such round cheeks?"

Oh dear. I couldn't help what happened next...the words just spewed from my mouth.

You know, Dr. Skelfhsiekbwei, my jaw wasn't always this strong but after years of what I call, stuffing-my-face-strength-training, I'm finally starting to see results. Thankfully, I've got these round cheeks from all that eating to support the strong jaw you've been massaging. Come on, really? Now even my jaw is fat? Listen up, dentist man, I'm big bone. Give me a break, I grew up in a big, strong and...big family. If you wanted to eat, you had to fight for your food and if you didn't end a meal sweaty, you weren't going to survive. So maybe, just maybe, all the chewing strengthened my jaw. And as for my chubby cheeks, well, maybe I retain a lot of water...or I'm tubby. I don't know. You tell me, you're the "doctor."

I sure told him. Okay fine, in reality, I said nothing because my teeth were covered in polish (which, by the way, is never thoroughly rinsed out leaving me with gritty mouth) and there was a hose sucking up any and all moisture in my mouth (I think my tongue started to shrivel up at one point).

Whatever. I like my jaw. And actually, I kind of liked the dentist. He didn't mess around, he's going to fix my teeth, and he takes my insurance. So basically, he's the man and he's going to get to know my mouth whether he likes it or not. Though from the way he was feeling up my jaw, I think he kind of liked it.

Love,
Jenna, the Beached Whale