Believe it or not, I really am on the bus right now. Thanks to a little thing called the "Wi-Fi," I can use the internet, check the facebook, shop online at the Nordstrom and work a little on the blogspot. (Where I come from, we put "the" in front of everything. Seriously. No really. Utahns are notorious for overusing the word "the.")
So what's on my mind right now? Oh, you mean besides Sunchips? The facebook.
Recently on the facebook, I've been tagged by several different people in their "25 Random Things About Me" note. If you are lucky enough to be tagged in one of these notes, you are supposed to compile your own random list about yourself and pass it along to 25 of your friends. Ha. 25 friends! That's outrageous. I don't even know if I have 25 contacts in my cell phone. Shoot, do I even know 25 people?
I know what you are thinking and I agree. Honestly, I don't even want to know 25 random things about myself either. Instead, I present:
25 Random Things About Me If I Were Michael Phelps:
1. My mom makes the best pot...roast.
2. I started swimming after getting cut from the basketball team for getting too fired up.
3. I traded my gold medals for something green.
4. Before my swim meets, I listen to my ipod to get motivated to smoke past my competition.
5. If I smoked pot, I bet it would be easier to smoke it through my gills
6. When I hosted SNL, I was so hig...excited.
7. Grass brownies are my favorite.
8. If I could be anything, I'd be a bong.
9. If I couldn't be a bong, I'd be a hookah.
10. When I get the munchies, I like to eat Subway Sandwiches*.
11. I got to know "Buddha" with the Chinese swim team the night before I won my 7th gold medal.
12. I would never smoke pot...in a swimming pool.
13. I hide pot in my speedo (an all natural enhancement).
14. I want to name my first child Mary Jane if it's a girl and Herb if it's a boy.
15. The smell of pot and chlorine chokes me up.
16. Thinking about corn beef and hash makes my mouth water.
17. I bring the funk to every party.
18. I light up with my friends around.
19. I always take a hit for the team.
20. Crazy Eddie is my best friend.
21. I love a good joint.
22. My body is smokin'.
23. I own a lot of hemp.
24. I like to take pictures of me pretending to smoke pot.
25. Screw it, I like pot a lot. Sue me.
*No need to endorse them anymore. They dropped their sponsorship, dork.
Seeing Michael Phelps smoking pot makes all 18-22 year college boys think they're that much closer to being Olympians. You're all idiots.
Signing off the Megabus Wi-fi with LOVE,
Jenna
P.S. Curse you Diet Coke and my bladder! Are we there yet?
4 comments:
Don't they have a bathroom at the back of the bus? It can't be as bad as the toilet in Slumdog Millionaire.
Have you been in the bathroom on those buses? I opened lifted the toilet seat cover up and something tried to grab my face and pull me in. Seriously.
Jenna. You are awesome. And ps, it was actually called "the facebook" back in the day. When I got home from my mission it was still bookmarked as www.thefacebook.com
Michael Phelps teaches all of us a valuable lesson...
Don't do stupid/illegal stuff in front of other white people. They will turn you in.
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