Monday, September 14, 2009

Sometimes MTV has a Video Music Awards Show...

...even though MTV hasn't played a music video since The Real World began its reign of terror (and STDs). Come to think of it, VMA kind of sounds like a disease...

MTV's Video Music Awards aired last night live from Radio City Music Hall. Thank goodness! I've got plenty of material to make my first week back to blogging so much easier!

It's almost too easy.

Should I start with the most obvious target of the night? Lady Gaga. I've said it before and I'll say it again, that girl is a freak. And not freaky, like let's get it on freaky. I mean, she is a weirdo. But of course, she chooses to act the way she does. My conclusion after watching her die on stage last night was this: I think I might actually be afraid of her. Does she ever just let down her hair (if she has any...I've only ever seen her in wigs), go back to whatever planet (or state) she's from, eat pizza (instead of human brains) and watch Gossip Girl (or reruns of Roseanne) like the rest of us? Or is she constantly trying to hide her face (she wears a lot of sparkles/feathers/bird's nests as a means of distraction from what seems to be a rather large nose)? I'm being harsh. She's a person too, I think. By the end of the night, she had changed her clothes at least 16 times and made Michael Jackson look like a regular ol' guy. Seriously, what was the nest she had around her face? If that's fashion, count me out. Even Tracy Morgan was afraid of her. And he's mentally insane. Put Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga next to each other and Taylor looks celestial.

Poor Taylor Swift. Kanye West had to steal her thunder. Actually, I take it back. This could perhaps be the greatest thing that's ever happened to Taylor's career. The whole country is on her side. And Kanye, well, George Bush hates black people and Kanye West hates country music. Hates country music but loves attention...turns out he was booked as Leno's guest on Leno's first episode of his primetime talk show. Cause a stir, gets lots of publicity and then make an appearance on a show that desperately needs ratings. Kanye, it's all very suspicious...VERY suspicious.

Madonna tried to make me feel bad about thinking MJ was strange. He was weird. He was talented and bizarre. So he had a weird and difficult childhood. So did I. So did everyone. Hard things happen...that doesn't mean you can cut off your face, become a prescription drug addict and pretend you're 10 forever. Don't get me wrong, I love MJ's music and his dancing...but I refuse to let Madonna preach to me about anything unless, of course, she has me in a choke hold.

There were a million other things that happened last night but I really couldn't watch the entire show. I saw snippets here and there but realized that at 23, I'm just too old for it all.

By the way, Russell Brand looked as smelly as ever, don't you think?

Happy post VMA day!

Love,
Jenna