...and think about the ways in which Costco has changed your life.
I will post more about this very...very very soon.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Another summer job...
I sang/danced at an amusement park in Utah a few years ago. It was a great job for three reasons.
1. Food: I could eat endless chicken nuggets with no consequence to my figure.
2. Fans: Men with mullets and neglected teenagers from across the northern region of the state who frequented the park by choice loved me.
3. Dance Moves: Ever seen Zac Efron dance and sing? Yeah, well, I freakin' invented those moves. I own them and I'm still waiting for my check.
1. Food: I could eat endless chicken nuggets with no consequence to my figure.
2. Fans: Men with mullets and neglected teenagers from across the northern region of the state who frequented the park by choice loved me.
3. Dance Moves: Ever seen Zac Efron dance and sing? Yeah, well, I freakin' invented those moves. I own them and I'm still waiting for my check.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
I found my summer job today...
I will be a college graduate in May but I'm a little depressed about it. Why? Because I don't want to give up my summer vacations. In fact, I won't give up my summer vacation. How?
This is how my plan came to pass:
It's a sunny Thursday afternoon and Jenna's last day of spring break. Janae, Ashley, Eva and Jenna order lunch at Taco Bell.
Jenna: I'm going to get the fresco chicken burrito supreme.
Janae: Is that good?
Jenna: Sure, I like it. I'm eating it. It's FRESCO. (flashes intense spirit fingers)
Janae: Ok, I'll get that too.
Their food comes and they sit in their favorite booth.
Janae: This is gross. Take it away. I can't eat it.
Jenna: (takes a big bite) Oh. They say, if you don't like it, they'll eat it.
Janae: Ashley, take this back for me. It's so salty.
Jenna: I don't think it's salty. Plus, I like salt. (pours a salt packet on burrito)
Janae: It's salty.
Ashley takes it back and gets a chicken quesadilla for Janae instead. A few minutes later...
Jenna: That's it! I'll eat it.
Janae: (moves her quesadilla away from Jenna) Order your own quesadilla
Jenna: Nooo, If you don't like it, I'll eat it. That's my summer job. I could sit over there and eat rejected food.
Janae: Jenna, the Taco Bell Reject. That's good. I can work here with you.
Jenna: Yeah, you'll be the manager and I'll be the Taco Bell Reject mascot.
Janae: We'll put you in a cage, elevate it, and then give you a diet pepsi IV.
Jenna: Sweet.
Ashley: I'll come and laugh at you.
Eva: Babada babada ba (me too in baby talk)
End Scene.
So folks, if you come to Provo this summer and crave a little TB (Taco Bell or Tuberculosis) head on down and visit me. Feel free to order anything you want because if you don't like it, I'll eat it.
This is how my plan came to pass:
It's a sunny Thursday afternoon and Jenna's last day of spring break. Janae, Ashley, Eva and Jenna order lunch at Taco Bell.
Jenna: I'm going to get the fresco chicken burrito supreme.
Janae: Is that good?
Jenna: Sure, I like it. I'm eating it. It's FRESCO. (flashes intense spirit fingers)
Janae: Ok, I'll get that too.
Their food comes and they sit in their favorite booth.
Janae: This is gross. Take it away. I can't eat it.
Jenna: (takes a big bite) Oh. They say, if you don't like it, they'll eat it.
Janae: Ashley, take this back for me. It's so salty.
Jenna: I don't think it's salty. Plus, I like salt. (pours a salt packet on burrito)
Janae: It's salty.
Ashley takes it back and gets a chicken quesadilla for Janae instead. A few minutes later...
Jenna: That's it! I'll eat it.
Janae: (moves her quesadilla away from Jenna) Order your own quesadilla
Jenna: Nooo, If you don't like it, I'll eat it. That's my summer job. I could sit over there and eat rejected food.
Janae: Jenna, the Taco Bell Reject. That's good. I can work here with you.
Jenna: Yeah, you'll be the manager and I'll be the Taco Bell Reject mascot.
Janae: We'll put you in a cage, elevate it, and then give you a diet pepsi IV.
Jenna: Sweet.
Ashley: I'll come and laugh at you.
Eva: Babada babada ba (me too in baby talk)
End Scene.
So folks, if you come to Provo this summer and crave a little TB (Taco Bell or Tuberculosis) head on down and visit me. Feel free to order anything you want because if you don't like it, I'll eat it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I am pseudo...
Last night I went to a pseudo apartment that smelled surprisingly better than I had previously imagined it might. But that's not the point of this story. As some of you readers might know, I enjoy learning new things that might help me in this world and last night I learned something that I am going to share with you for a small fee.
If you want to sound hip/cool/like you know what you are talking about, just throw the word "PSEUDO" in front of your favorite activities, food habits, hobbies, etc.
Now I'm new at this but I am going to try and give you some examples so you know what I'm talking about.
Jenna: I'm a pseudo-swimmer.
Friend: What does that mean?
Jenna: I think swimming is wrong.
Friend: But you went swimming last week.
Jenna: Well you know, sometimes swimming is unavoidable. That doesn't mean I agree with it.
Friend: Oh right, I get it. I'm a pseudo-drug dealer. I might deal drugs to make money but I know it's wrong and I don't do drugs.
Ok so I'm still getting used to the word. But here are some pseudo phrases that will definitely work in your favor.
Pseudo-Vegetarian - Sometimes you eat chicken but only when people force you too otherwise, you don't condone cruelty towards chickens. Instead you'd rather eat lettucy things like cabbage, for example.
Pseudo-Mormon - Be Mormon without actually BEING Mormon. They're so hip right now. Mormons are the new pink. Thanks Mitt!
Pseudo-TV watcher - This is for people who say, "I don't really like/watch TV but sometimes I watch The Hills and I Love New York but honestly, I totally HATE TV."
With the word pseudo, you'll fit in everywhere you go!
For more pseudo phrases and other tips on how to fit in (like how to metaphorically tame raging beastly lions), please e-mail your full name, credit card number, Social Security number, your address (not someone elses), cell phone number, AIM screenname, pant size, favorite food item at Taco Bell, your crush as well as his/her e-mail address, and a check for $39.99 plus 8.625% sales tax to Jenna Jones ASAP!
If you want to sound hip/cool/like you know what you are talking about, just throw the word "PSEUDO" in front of your favorite activities, food habits, hobbies, etc.
Now I'm new at this but I am going to try and give you some examples so you know what I'm talking about.
Jenna: I'm a pseudo-swimmer.
Friend: What does that mean?
Jenna: I think swimming is wrong.
Friend: But you went swimming last week.
Jenna: Well you know, sometimes swimming is unavoidable. That doesn't mean I agree with it.
Friend: Oh right, I get it. I'm a pseudo-drug dealer. I might deal drugs to make money but I know it's wrong and I don't do drugs.
Ok so I'm still getting used to the word. But here are some pseudo phrases that will definitely work in your favor.
Pseudo-Vegetarian - Sometimes you eat chicken but only when people force you too otherwise, you don't condone cruelty towards chickens. Instead you'd rather eat lettucy things like cabbage, for example.
Pseudo-Mormon - Be Mormon without actually BEING Mormon. They're so hip right now. Mormons are the new pink. Thanks Mitt!
Pseudo-TV watcher - This is for people who say, "I don't really like/watch TV but sometimes I watch The Hills and I Love New York but honestly, I totally HATE TV."
With the word pseudo, you'll fit in everywhere you go!
For more pseudo phrases and other tips on how to fit in (like how to metaphorically tame raging beastly lions), please e-mail your full name, credit card number, Social Security number, your address (not someone elses), cell phone number, AIM screenname, pant size, favorite food item at Taco Bell, your crush as well as his/her e-mail address, and a check for $39.99 plus 8.625% sales tax to Jenna Jones ASAP!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
