Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sometimes, especially in times of economic hardship...

...people need to learn how to scale back.

How to save money during a recession:

Buy nothing. Steal if you have to.

Or

Move to California, turn into a hippie (in no particular order), live on a vineyard or some other form of open space in a tiny, and I mean tiny house just big enough for you and your home grown Mary Jane. (Tiny houses as seen on CNN.com or as Sarah Palin might call them, "Trailers for the Liberal Eeelite.")

On the other hand, saving money is great, but the real quest, the real American in all of us is searching for ways to make money but no more than $250,000 otherwise taxes will be a beeyotch when Obama begins his reign.

How to make money during a recession:

Find a treasure map with your group of misfit friends, run from an Italian family of crooks (as if there are any other kind) and make sure you bring plenty of Baby Ruth's. Trust me, you'll find the treasure. I've seen it a million times.

Have a yard sell, I mean, sale. (Whoops, that's the real American side of me coming through.)

Start a business selling liquor filled chocolate money bags.

Lastly, get a job in the television industry. What does Joe the Wall Street Investment Banker do when he doesn't have any money? He stays in, orders cheap Chinese food (as if there is any other kind) and watches cable on his flat screen 47" LCD HDTV.

Love,
Jenna