Sometimes America just isn't enough...

...and The Beckham's are leaving us!

Or so they wish. But when David, Posh and Beckham babies came to America, we made sure they signed a contract tighter than Posh's skinniest skinny jeans (I would say Jessica Simpson's skinny jeans but OMG, she's like such a fattie right now! Like, she was wearing like total "mom jeans." Puh-lease, my mom would never ever wear those jeans. Trust me, I know what "mom jeans" are. I'm from Utah: the mother's mecca of mom jeans and Jessica Simpson wasn't wearing them.)

So, David Beckham wants to leave the LA Galaxy and move to Italy to play soccer/football for AC Milan (I think that's right). I'm not sure I'm ready for Posh to leave. If you read my blog, you know why. I have to hang on to every last Spice Girl I can. Remember her one time reality special, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America (That may not be the official title but I'm too tired to google it right now)? It was ridiculously posh or maybe just ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous...

The Millionaire Matchmaker is coming back to Bravo next week. When she arrived on the Bravo circuit last year, I was fascinated by her business. She's a female pimp. It's incredible. Millionaire men (I've never seen a female client) actually pay her tens of thousands of dollars to find a hot actress for him to date. How does ANYONE have a job like that and actually take themselves seriously??? And how can I break into this business? Oh and I think the matchmaker got some renewed implants for the upcoming season. As if she wasn't frightening/irritating enough, now her boobies are as obnoxious as her personality. Oh Bravo, you try so hard to appear sophisticated but in reality you actually produce a lot of mindless programming. Speaking of mindless...

Have you seen the commercials for hulu.com with Alec Baldwin? They are brilliant so I guess they aren't really mindless at all. Alec is an alien explaining how TV turns your brain to mush so that he and other TV creating aliens can eat them. Their slogan is, "Hulu: An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy." Except my sister and brother-in-law live in Thailand and can't access Hulu. So Hulu can't destroy the world...yet.

Maybe you can't watch Hulu in Italy either. Did you hear that Beckham family? Why do you want to live in a place without mindless television (available via hulu.com)? I bet in Italy, people don't even watch TV. I think Italians eat pasta, drink wine and lay around looking fashionable (or so I imagine) all day. Wait a minute, that sounds better than mindless television...hmmm, now I'm confused. Maybe it's the mindless television that keeps us from moving like the Beckham's so desire?

I think Hulu should change their slogan to...

Hulu: an evil plot to destroy your brain so you'll never leave the country. Enjoy!

Don't leave us, David, Victoria and babies. Don't leave us! Oh wait, you can't. Not yet at least. And by the time your contract actually releases you, you'll be so hooked on the Millionaire Matchmaker, you'll want to stay.

Oh how I love television.

Love,

Jenna