...in more ways than one and plunge into your second stand up act unexpectedly and unprepared. That's right, kids, I did my second show last night. It was a semi-disaster but I learned a lot and can't wait to redeem myself in my next attempt...for those of you living in New York City...dates and times coming soon...but don't hold your breath.
In other news, a JetBlue employee decided to take a little cat nap in the cargo bin of a plane and next thing he knew, he woke up in Boston. What a job! I could go for a nap right now. But being the genius I am, I wouldn't get free travel out of it. My experience would be more along these lines: Oh hey, this dumpster looks nice and cozy. Next thing I know, I'm in Staten Island, in which case, when I woke up, I would for sure panic and think, I've died. I've died and gone to hell. I should have never cheated on that stupid calculus exam back in the 10th grade (because that is the ONLY thing I've ever done wrong). Then I would proceed to curse...a lot. When in hell, do as the hellions do, am I right?
Speaking of hell, heaven, whatever, it turns out that the end of the world is happening sooner than you might think. When? On May 28, 2010, you better hold on to your effing hats, my friends. Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I've got my dates mixed up. That's when the sequel to Sex and the City comes out. I know, it's an easy mistake. They evoke similar emotions in my heart. Distress, anxiety, the urge to vomit. Yes, the end of the world and the idea of watching Sex and the City 2 makes me want to throw up. I've got a weak stomach, alright? I have a history of puking, regurgitating, spewing, etc. That's all I'm saying. That and I hate Sex and the City.
So wanna talk about blowing chunks a little more? (There are a lot of words for ralphing.) A co-worker, this is a true story, recently told me about an experience he had giving someone CPR. Just as they were mouth to mouth, the unconscious man vomited into my co-workers mouth. There is no way I could recover from an experience like that. Someone throws up in my mouth, no tictac, mouthwash, toothpaste could save it. Someone throws up in my mouth, I need a new mouth.
Alright party people, take a nap at work and see where you end up, save the date next May (I know I won't), and lastly, please don't ever barf in someones mouth, even if you are unconscious and having a heart attack. Just don't.
Love,
Jenna
Other words for upchucking courtesy of http://urbandictionary.com (visit with caution):
hurling
tossing cookies
imyukin
yuking
givener
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3 comments:
I never seen anyone more concerned with popularity, followers or their blog in my life. It's weird and awesome.
Snarky anonymous comments on other people's blogs are lame.
Amen. It's weird and not awesome.
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