Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 5/4/09

Hola Senor(ita) de Mexico: Cinco De Mayo is NOT a holiday based on Mayonnaise. It's a Mexican holiday celebrating Swine Flu. Oh wait, no, it does not celebrate Swine Flu but celebrations of this party holiday have been postponed this year. But not just because of Swine Flu. It's also because there aren't enough Americans in Mexico to celebrate a holiday that isn't their own as another poor excuse to get crunk.

This week in GROSS: VH1 Reality television stars shouldn't be referred to as celebrities of any letter status. They should be referred to as STDs. The she-STD from A Shot of Love and the he-STD from For the Love of Ray J are "dating" and by "dating" we mean, infecting the world with a disease far worse than the Swine Flu, another reality television program.

Latest victim of Swine Flu: Telemundo

Eminem, the whitest rapper of them all: What do Enimem and suburban housewives have in common? An addiction to Vicodin. Come on, Em, you can do better than that! What are you going to do next? Embezzle?

This Just In: Shia LaBeouf and Zac Efron are dueling this afternoon to see which one of them will win the opportunity to take me to Spring Fling. The only rule: stay away from the face. Any hits to the face will result in immediate disqualification. Especially you, Shia. Don't mess with Zac's face.

I'm JK and you are so happy I'm back.

Love,
Jenna

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, Even celebrity can get STDs, no wonder why more and more hot girls join the largest STD dating site == Positivefish. com == !