Sometimes dating websites...

...teach valuable lessons.

If you see what may look like a cute guy on a dating website and the "about me" of his profile says:

"When I meet a girl, I try to make her feel comfortable around me."

Click away as fast as you can.

You try to make her feel comfortable? Well, that's polite but why is this necessary for me to know? Isn't that an understood trait? Shouldn't I assume that you aren't a total a-hole in the first place? Don't we all want to make people feel comfortable around us? Especially on a dating website?

Apparently there are a lot of guys (and probably girls too) who feel the need to emphasize their ability to function normally in society because I have seen this phrase too many times.

You try to make a girl feel comfortable? How noble of you? Wait a minute, try? That isn't exactly absolute. That's like saying, "Don't worry, when I leave the house, I usually wear pants."

I used to think that the sign at fast food restaurants that says, "No shoes, no shirt, no service." were generally for, I don't know, homeless people, hippies, etc but now I'm starting to think that there are actually non-homeless, non-hippie men out there who might just walk into McDonald's without wearing shoes.

After this, I may just have to put "Employees must wash hands before returning to work" signs in the restrooms at my office.

This kind of obvious commentary can mean one of three things:

1. He's a normal guy trying to emphasize the fact that he's not a psycho (highly unlikely)

or

2. He's a psycho trying to hide the fact that he's a psycho (very likely)

or

3. I try to make a girl feel comfortable is "guy code" for: I won't fart in front of you until the 3rd date OR On our first date, I won't touch your boobs...on purpose.

I'm so tired of reading this "comfortable" line on profiles, it would almost be refreshing to read, "Hey, I'm Johnny and I'm a real douche bag so if I pay for dinner, I expect a little something something in return. And yes, I will try to touch your boobies within 15 minutes of our first date."

You make me feel so comfy. (Is that a Katy Perry song?)

Love,
Jenna