Sometimes people say the...

...craziest things. No really, people say crazy things. Things they shouldn't say. Ever.

For example:

Hulk Hogan, when speaking of his recent divorce and his wife's much younger lover, said, "You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it."

Whoops. Oh no, that 19 year old is driving his Escalade??? Ah, shi...he gets your wife and your bed, the least he could do is leave your Escalade alone! Men and cars. So predictable. (I don't even know what that means.) But come on, The Hulk obviuosly meant Orange Juice. Nothing like good ol' OJ to give you the energy to get your through a hard day or divorce. It's not like he used to get all greased up, threaten to crush people and then beat them up for a living. Wrestling is fake. Those muscles probably aren't even real. It's all digital enhancement or a muscle suit or something. He's harmless. But seriously, give him his freakin' Escalade or your head is going to be in a sleeper hold so fast....

When speaking, avoid these: Nazis, school shootings, terrorists, OJ, wearing flip flops in Manhattan (Do you know how filthy that is?), pig crap, your book "The Best Way to Murder and Get Away With It," heighth (if you're around midgets), sight (if you're around blind people), using the word "retarded" (if you're around...nevermind...too far), your gun collection, your love for Rush Limbaugh (if you live in Manhattan), diahrrea and lastly (and this could the most important of them all) your girlfriend's weight.

Gosh, you can't say anything anymore!

Love,
Jenna