...but my updates are always interesting and/or entertaining. The rest of you have some explaining to do.
What's the deal with the facebook status? I mean, sure I use it. But I know and willingly admit that it's just a cry for attention. Some people use that status like we really care what they are doing every second of every day. Yes, thank you, I really need a play by play from a girl who, when she requested me as a friend, I recognized but have no idea how I know her or why we are friends.
Here are a few observations I've made about the facebook status:
1. If you log on to facebook and 25 of your friends' status are announcing their recent engagement:
A. It's April Fool's Day
or
B. You are Mormon
or
C. You have a lot of Mormon friends and it's April 1st.
2. I appreciate the people who haven't realized that the "is" in the status line is optional. It's cute, really.
Mike is Happy Birthday Sarah!
3. The most exciting facebook status updates are the mean ones of course:
Brenda is so sick of men and their lies.
Blake hates all of you today.
Blaire wishes you would leave him alone forever.
Brad wants to hurt puppies.
(Probably shouldn't be friends with that last guy and apparently Blaire is a boy.)
4. I always feel a little nervous when people are inconsistent with their pronouns.
Incorrect: Rachel is walking my dog.
Correct: Rachel is walking her dog.
It's all very confusing unless, of course, Rachel is your dog walker or a known dog thief.
5. I don't understand spelling errors.
Dana can't wiat to see her neices. Yaayyy!!!!!
Typing that make me cringe. Reading it makes my head hurt.
6. The best facebook status updates are those that are trying real hard to be...ambiguous but really are just vague and/or irritating.
Steve is...
McKenzie can't wait...
Lauren wonders why you are so beautiful in the early morning sky when you aren't even here. (That doesn't even make sense.)
Jenny is staring deeply.
Richard writes his soul on napkins at starbucks.
7. Cliches are always fun too.
Stephanie is wearing her heart on her sleeve.
Mary wants you to turn that frown upside down.
Harry woke up at 7 am because the early bird gets the worm.
Although, I feel that these people are truly sincere, they still make me want to punch myself in the face.
8. Facebook status updates tell a lot about a personality.
A boss: Piper wants you to help me move tomorrow.
A lazy employee: Alex hates working today and wishes it was always Friday.
A vampire and/or science fiction geek (this is a tricky one): Ed is thirsty for your blood.
Conclusion: I've come to realize that the facebook status is weird because it forces us to type and read about ourselves in third person. And I recently heard that the more you talk about yourself in third person the more quickly facebook will own your soul and devour your brain.
Jenna is so finished with this post.
Love,
Jenna
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Facebook says I'm coming to eat your brain.
I know who you are. And I'm sending the real facebook after you.
hahah Facebook is... pissed off today!
facebook is retarded.
George is getting angry!
McKenzie eh...
Very sneaky.
...says "You'll never take me alive!"
Mike Andersen doesn’t like referring to himself using third-person pronouns.
Sure it's bad grammar, but i don't care. now i say things like:
Mike Andersen wants some cookies. Cookies are my favorite.
In most circumstances that statement would be confusing (due to a lack of any clear antecedent for “my”). But with facebook statuses it should be a given that I am the author, and therefore any first-person pronoun is obviously referring to me. I could be wrong though. Maybe while I’m here writing my own status updates, the rest of you have someone (or something, like a facebook status update robot) observing you and reporting his/her/its findings. If this is the case, then [A] it makes perfect sense to use third-person pronouns, and [B] where can I get me one of them robots?!
Whoa Mike, easy there. YOur comment hurt my brain! I needed that. Thanks for reading!
I don't get this many comments often enough.
Yeah, pretty much you just described not just people writing their facebook status, but basically any sort of comment that people make on the internet: insane, idiotic, and incoherent. And that is some alliteration for ya.
Rachel is very much hoping that she is not the one talked about in said post.
Loved this, Jenna. You should write for SNL...or something like unto it.
I really do enjoy this. It reflects exactly how I feel, except you put it in words better. :)
Although, you didn't mention the song lyrics. People post song lyrics as their status, but you can't figure out whether they just happened to rhyme, or are really good at writing words.
Post a Comment