Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 5/18/09

Order a Bride and Receive Free Shipping TODAY ONLY: Recently, while speaking about his love life, Alec Baldwin said that he, "was thinking about getting a Filipino mail order bride at this point...or a Russian one." Well apparently they read perezhilton.com over there in the Philippines, know who Alec Baldwin is and actually care what he has to say. That's right, the Filipinos are up in arms! It's like Alec doesn't know that mail order brides haven't been a legal practice there for years. Oh they've never been legal? Are you sure about that? Duh! Russia, on the other hand, doesn't seem too upset by the comment. In fact, they've already sent over three ladies for Alec to choose from. The only catch is that Alec and Anastasiya or Vladlena or Inga have to give their first born daughter back to Russia. The Russian Olympic Committee is sure they'll get a good gymnast out of this match. Honestly, it's probably a good deal for Alec as he's not really that fond of the "thoughtless little pig" daughters he already has.

Money Changes Everything: There is still a reason for douche bags/college frat boys/nerds to become investment bankers. Tim Geithner said that he has no plans to put a cap on executives salaries. One banker said that with a giant salary, he'll still have a chance to get a girlfriend and keep her even though he'll only see her for an hour every other week in between blackberry e-mailing. As long as he keeps on working and more importantly, spending. And yes, girls are shallow and the only reason people work in finance is to make a buttload of cash. Duh. (I know how to make friends, don't I?)

Who is Gossip Girl?: She isn't a girl after all. She's a woman playing a man dressed as a girl living in Ohio. I smell an Emmy. Ok fine. Gossip Girl is...YOUR MOM. She reads your journal every night and stays up texting all your friends about it. Duh.

Duh: I'm into "duh" right now because I want someone to punch me in the face.

I rediscovered the one and only 'NSYNC song that I love today: "Tearin' Up My Heart." It's almost as good as the Backstreet Boys singing, "I Want It That Way." Almost.

Duh.

Love,

Jenna