Sometimes The Drudge Report...

...hits me in the face with this headline:

"Scientists' Alert: Fatties Cause Global Warming"

I immediately put down my fried twinkie thinking, if this is an elaborate fart joke, so help me, I'm already laughing. Unfortunately, it wasn't (though it's still semi-uncomfortably funny).

"The rising number of fat people was yesterday blamed for global warming.

Scientists warned that the increase in big-eaters means more food production — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet.

Overweight people are also more likely to drive, adding to environmental damage.

Dr Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.”

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of overweight people.

The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests."

I have three things to say about this:

1. Add this to your list of topics to avoid (especially at Dunkin Donuts, McDonald's or KFC) that I began compiling a few days ago.

2. J. Simpson, take note.

3. This is just one more reason for Hollywood starlets to smoke/take/inhale/burn/inject/do crack AND preach going green to the rest of us food whores.

Scientists' Alert: Anorexics save the planet.

Back to my twinkie.

Love,
Jenna: the girl who warmed the world one meal at a time

P.S. Sunchips don't cause global warming. They are made with solar power and love. So deal. I can still eat them as much as I want. Hey, I'll even walk to the store to buy them. How's that?