Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 3/9/09

Mo-Mo Gossip: Turns out Mormon Senator Harry Reid actually writes the blog: whymormongirlsstaysingle.com. Democrats...

This Week in Toys: Barbie turns 50 this year and she's hotter than ever. Seriously, she's burning up; she's a flash of heat. The 50th Anniversary Doll will be named Lady Menopause and will come with a copy of Richard Gere's latest film, "Nights in Rodanthe." Happy 50th!

Musical Politics: Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele are starting a pop duo and will go on a national tour with their first album, "Bringin' Down the Republican Pizarty." Critics predict that Limbaugh and Steele are this generation's Hall and Oates with Steele being the duo's Oates, naturally.

This just in: Rush Limbaugh ate Michael Steele. He's a maneater!

A Look Back in Time: Remember this guy?

I do. Sigh...

Don't worry, Ladies: Dr. Sanjay Gupta won't go into hiding as the U.S. Surgeon General after all. He has withdrawn his name for consideration for the position. Reason why? Way too attractive. Or rather, his wife is having their third child and he doesn't want to take a job that would take him away from his family for the amount of time Surgeon General would require. Ha. I almost had you there. The real fake reason? Little does the world know, he was actually forced to withdraw after being caught smoking pot with Michael Phelps...and Andy Dick, Alec Baldwin, The Jonas Brothers, Joan Rivers and Lady Menopause. Now that is one crazy hot box. By the way, do you think Lady Gaga will change her name to Lady Menopause in a few decades?

For the Foodies: Yobama is the newest most delicious frozen yogurt flavor, coming to Pinkberry across the nation, like way soon.

The End: That's all I've got because I don't have time to write anymore. I gotta a life to live and rumors to discover. Until next time, I'm JK and you're total nerds.

Love,

Jenna Kim

P.S. Please enjoy a few seconds of Hall and Oates singing "Rich Girl." Yeah, I saw them in concert this past weekend. Jealous? You should be.