Green is Out: St. Patrick's Day will be canceled this year. With the bad economy, the holiday suffered from a few major setbacks. Too many to celebrate! Believe it or not, someone stole all of the gold at the end of the rainbow. And no, the cold watch I am wearing was purchased well before the gold was reported missing so don't look at me. After losing his 401K, the Lucky Charms leprechaun had to get a second job and couldn't get out of his shift at The Dairy Queen so he won't be out partying. People fear that wearing the color of green will only remind people of the money lost. And because New York City is running low on money, they had to find ways to cut back on their budgets which means that the city won't be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars cleaning up the green vomit lining the streets the following morning. You know the world is in trouble, when a holiday based on drinking can't even make it feel better. Drinking always solves my problems. I mean, it would, if I drank. Which I don't. Not that I should have to remind you that I don't. Because, duh, like I would ever...maybe...no. Never! Except sometimes but like not really. (nervous laughter...) Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Jealous Tyra?: You should have seen the mug shots of the models who were arrested on Saturday afternoon when the America's Next Top Model Auditions turned into a riot on the streets of Manhattan. They were fierce!
Think About It: Crazy Octo-Mom-gelina might be bringing her babies home soon. Wait a minute, what home? (How much will her kids hate her in a few years?)
Bonus This: Instead of getting the millions of dollars in bonuses, AIG executives are receiving a different kind of bonus this year. They are allowed to choose from one of the following:
1. Punch in the face by Barack Obama
2. Swim with dolphins except the dolphins will be replaced with sharks.
3. Promoted to head of the DMV
4. Dinner with the head of TMZ or Perez Hilton (and you can't drink alcohol)
5. Human Pinata for underprivileged children
I'm JK and you are totally my favorite.
Love,
Jenna Kim
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
The government gets half of their bonuses anyway. Isn't that punishment enough?
Post a Comment