...is back on the market! This is my chance, ladies and gentlemen, to woo Nick Lachey into my life. But how? I thought you'd never ask!
First of all, let me just tell you that Jessica Simpson and I have all the right things in common and we all know that Jessica Simpson was his first love. J. Simpson and I are both:
1. "fat"
2. blonde
3. bad luck in the best way, of course
4. confused by "Chicken of the Sea"
Thankfully, I don't pretend to be as stupid as she is--she's a secret genius. Which I guess is just another thing she and I have in common, minus the secret. Everybody knows I'm genius or at least suspects it. It's natural.
So...Nick lives in NYC. I live in NYC. He likes sports. I would love to pretend to love sports. He likes girls. I'm happy he likes girls. Sure, he's 12 years older than me. And I may listen to Disney Channel stars when I'm not listening to his glorious voice but I'm like super duper mature for my age for sure.
We'll probably run into each other at Duane Reade and the rest will be history. Then I'll have to erase this post.
Whatever, I'm normal.
Love,
Jenna
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Pretending to love sports is tough! I can't remember if they kick a touchdown or throw a goal or whatever...too confusing. Best way to handle it is to have him TEACH you about sports...more quality time for the two of you.
Seriously. "Chicken of the Sea". Psh. Everyone KNOWS chickens don't live in the sea!!! Duuuuh!! They'd, like, drown!! Why ANYONE would want to eat a drowned chicken is beyond me. It doesn't sound appetizing AT ALL. I just stick with tuna. So much less morbid to think about.
Post a Comment