Jenna Kim's Fake Rumors 10/26/09

The Miracle of the Hudson: The World Series starts tomorrow...maybe. It's pouring rain today in New York City and according to weather.com it's going to keep raining. Maybe Kate Hudson could stop the rain? I mean, she's turned A-Rod into the superstar baseball player Yankees fans hoped he could be so perhaps she knows someone in Mother Nature's offices? Rumor is, she's nearly persuaded A-Rod to convert to Buddhism. Now, I don't know about you but I didn't realize she was such a spiritual giant. I did not get that vibe from her in How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days. (She better not mess with his heart in the next few weeks or New York City will NEVER forgive her. There will be riots.)

Lohan Unleashed: After partying too hard (and stealing a fur coat), Lohan was banned from many New York City clubs. The ban was recently lifted and she's allowed back in. Those clubs must be struggling and need a little publicity because I can't imagine any other reason to let her back in. Hide your coats, ladies, because it's cold outside and I heard Lohan is in the market for a new one.

The Hills Have Boyfriends: Kristen Cavallari, the new star of The Hills (the old star of Laguna Beach: The Real O.C.) has a secret off camera boyfriend. I personally hope it's Stephen from Laguna Beach (Suck on THAT, Lauren Conrad!) though I think it's someone we DON'T know. The Hills' producers are NOT pleased. And here's what I say to them: RELAX. WE ALL KNEW THE SHOW WAS FAKE BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED. I wasn't exactly shocked to find out she had a real life boyfriend. The only reason that the show isn't 100% scripted is because the cast doesn't know how to read and can only remember so many words.

My Weekly Smelly Person Rant: Katy Perry, the Lady-Kissing-Hot-and-Cold-Diva-Queen, turned 25 this week.

Did you know she's dating that?

Russel Brand smells.

Now I usually don't like to cast judgment on the person another person chooses to date since I, myself, don't exactly have a great dating track record. Not to mention, I hang out with a lot of comedians, so I'll probably end up dating one of them which is absolutely fine as I completely accepted the fact that I wouldn't marry a physically attractive man a long time ago. BUT Russell Brand is the least attractive comedian I've ever seen. He looks like he smells like a dirty boys dorm room all the time. The smell of alcohol, weed, sweat, pizza and farts are all trapped up in his skinny jeans. Guh. I'm going to be sick.

Two Oranges on Two Toothpicks: The Olsen twins have a few fashion line coming out at JC Penney. I looked through some pictures of the twins and their clothes and I can't remember what any of the clothes look like because I was so focused on their massive heads. I hope they sell hats in size Mary Kate and Ashley because I'll finally be able to find a hat to fit my giant noggin'.

Hot Water on Set: A production assistant on the set of Channing Tatum's new movie accidentally poured a pot of boiling water over the star. Being a production assistant myself, I can't tell you how that story made my heart sink. I'm sure he or she was fired immediately and has yet to recover from the idea of possibly scarring one of the most attractive men in the movie industry. Hey, if Channing can sing, maybe he can star in The Phantom of the Opera?

Love,
Jenna