Sometimes I wish I was a TIVO...

...because I need to record the following three moments in time.

1. Dinner at the Palin household which I imagine (but would like confirmed) goes a little something like this:

Sarah: Where's Bristol?

Mr. Sarah: Oh, she's out with her boyfriend again.

Sarah: They better not be fooling around. He knows I never miss a shot and I'm not talking about basketball, don't you know?

Mr. Sarah: Did you hear that your brother-in-law tasered Junior?

Sarah: WHAT? Well I'll be darned, that man is a menace. I told her shouldn't marry him but she couldn't resist his big fat trooper salary. You know, he didn't even vote for me. I'm gonna get someone on the phone about this. Track! Track, stop feeding your moose stew to the dog. Your grandpa killed that moose for you. We don't get lots of meese like this all the time.

Fade Out. End Scene.

I typed that whole scene with a Minnesotan accent in my head. Do Alaskans sound like Minnesotans? I don't even know.

2. The Cheeto Factory: I'd record the secret employee who adds the "secret ingredient" to Cheetos to finally prove to the world that they are made with a dash of crack; cheese flavored, orange colored crack.

3. Sunday Afternoon Replay: I'd record the pigeon poop incident that occurred on West 4th St. last Sunday afternoon and I'd watch that recording over and over again until I could figure out which pigeon it was exactly who pooped on my arm and then I'd find that pigeon, probably somewhere in Washington Square Park dealing drugs (the pigeon, not me), and I'd punch that pigeon in the face. Somebody call PETA! (Every time I hear about PETA in the news, I crave a gyro.)

For real, wouldn't it be weird if we could record anything we wanted with our minds and then play the recording back on a screen with our mind projector? Why isn't that a special power on Heroes? Was that a spoiler? Alert! Was it?

No. It wasn't.

Love,
Jenna