Tuesday, April 8, 2008

This is a special month...

...full of special days. Did you know that April was so eventful? I didn't.

April 2nd: Hans Christian Andersen's Birthday... (My mom is probably the only person that would appreciate that day.)

April 3rd: Find a Rainbow Day. This day is especially easy for those who live in San Francisco or Chelsea in NYC.

April 5th: National Read a Road Map Day. Who invented this day? And why? And shouldn't it be abolished? GPS...hello???

April 8th: Ponce De Leon Discovered Florida Day. Had he actually discovered the fountain of youth, he'd be 548 years old and probably look something like Bruce Jenner.

April 14th: Iceberg ahead, yadayada, a big boat sinks a few hours later. Then a few years later, annoying teenage girls go and see the movie about that blasted boat and that fake romance and cry and cry and cry.

April 15th: Tax Day. BORING. First McDonald's opened in 1955. EXCITING! Then it turned our country into the McFatties we knew we could be.

April 16th: National Eggs Benedict Day. Yes, of course. We need a day to celebrate poached eggs. Yes. (In my mind, I'm saying this with the most pretentious voice I can think of. Imagine someone named Larry or Denton, who pretends to be from Europe but is actually from Detroit, enjoying a delicious plate of eggs benedict.)

April 19th: Humorous Day. On this day, everything is just humorous. Not funny enough for a laugh, not dumb enough for a chuckle, just humorous enough for you to politely smile and perhaps gently applaud.

April 24th: Pigs-in-a-blanket Day: To celebrate, not only should you eat hot dogs wrapped in pastry but you should also wrap yourself in a blanket and roll around the floor snorting. Would someone please do that, video tape it, post it on youtube and send me the link?

April 26th: Hug a Friend Day: Feel free to hug but please don't hug people who aren't your friends.

April 29th: Zipper Day. On Zipper Day, zippers are optional.

April 30th: National Honesty Day. My favorite day of the year. I don't have to control myself at all. If I don't tell the truth, it's like I'm breaking a law. It's like I'm being unpatriotic. And no, I'm a law abiding, America loving girl. I will tell the truth even if you can't handle it.

5 comments:

Nayr Nilbmah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nayr Nilbmah said...

You must have the most entertaining calander this side of "The Far Side".

Liliya said...

Happy Ponce De Leon Discovered Florida Day!!!!

Rustino Scar said...

pigs in a blanket day? why, if only I had a camera, this McFatty would totally do it. hilarious. thanks for the laughs, and for always wanting to punch people in the face.

Jam Rob said...

its a party every day in jennas life. and in her mouth